There Are Always Signs!

Two of my friends have very recently decided to end their 3 - year relationship... or rather, she decided to end it and there's nothing much that he can do about it. I guess it is kindda hard for us to start treating them as being individuals now, since they have always been 'together'. But then, it must be a lot harder on them.


So after a lot of "He said, She Said", it came down to this: She fell out of love with him. And naturally, being the one who fell out of love, it is a lot easier to move on...but he's still IN love and I guess after the shock wears off, its gonna get replaced by hurt and anger and maybe some hatred.


So naturally, this got me thinking again. Won't it be so much easier if people could figure out that things are just not working out, so that you can be prepared when the other half breaks the news finally? Not everyone gets the kind of meaningful relationships you want (love you baby!) and a lot of people are stuck with just 'passing time' with whoever they're with. Maybe there are signs, but a lot of us just don't wanna look at them. Maybe these would help?

• She introduces you to people as 'my friend' - especially after you been more than that for a heck of a long time!
• Your Incoming Calls dont have her number anymore...its only in Outgoing Calls.
• She doesn't hold your hand all of a sudden.
• Your dates have become either to the movies or a quick dinner.
• She says 'Me Too' when you say you love her.
• You don't know whats been happening with her days lately.
• She stops asking you anything personal.
• She sits and stands away from you at parties or when her friends are there.
• She laughs more with her friends than with you.
• She makes excuses when you ask her to go with you to a family function.
• Your conversations have become limited.
• She starts dressing up better when she's going out with her friends than with you.
• She's suddenly really busy - work, family, crises...
• She's been finding faults in you a lot.
• She snaps at you, finds you annoying, gets irritated easily suddenly.
• She stops calling to make up after a fight.
• She hasn't said she misses you in more than a month.
• She does things that annoys you on purpose.
• She drops hints about taking a break.
• She's been having headaches or not feeling well too often during your dates.
• She stops telling you where she's going or with who.
• Your calls reaches her voice mail more often.
• She's hardly online to chat with (coz you probably have been blocked).
• She talks about changing and changes.
• She seems like a different person now (that's coz she is)

Breaking up is never easy and right now watching the two of them trying to figure out where do they go from here makes it a lot more worse. So you know, there are always signs that someone isn't happy with you, or that the relationship has run its course. Its never easy to open your eyes to the signs, but I guess if you do it earlier, you won't be going through the crap he's going through right now.

Its Not Growing Old..Its Growing Up!

A couple of days ago I was listening to Prem and Jules on the radio, and they had this really cute topic going on... “How Do You Know That You’re Getting Old”. There were a lot of people giving all sorts of signs of getting old, and I have to completely agree with most of them!

But then I started wondering…is 27 old?? When I was younger, I never saw 27 as old! I saw it as ‘being matured’. Old would be if you’re like 65 and above or something. And then, I started thinking of this whole lot of signs that I thought pretty much start reflecting your age..

I wouldn’t call it Signs of Getting Old though…that’s way too harsh! These are probably Signs That You Are Growing Up : )

• When the idea of getting all dressed up and gong out is a lot more exhausting that going out itself.
• When a song like ‘I Kissed A Girl’ makes you wonder about the future of music.
• When everything sweet – chocolates, ice creams, cakes and candies – really are not tempting anymore.
• When your 18 year old students’ dressings make you cringe.
• When you attend other people’s weddings and start making mental notes for your own one someday.
• When a young punk calls you ‘aunty’.
• When you just can’t sleep past 10 am on weekends.
• When the phrase ‘long term’ starts meaning a period of 2 years or more than 2 weeks.
• When the last thought before sleep is tomoro’s work schedule.
• When teenage dramas start seeming like a child’s game.
• When you can’t understand more than half of the lingo of the kids today.
• When you say a sentence with “Kids today..”
• When political stories start holding more appeal that Tinsel Town’s Who Wore What Where.
• When it takes a humongous effort to sit through 90210, Gossip Girl or One Tree Hill.
• When students say they think you’ll enjoy Mamma Mia because the music is ‘of your time’.
• When trying to juggle more than one online social networks becomes stressful.
• When an 8 hour sleep becomes a necessity than a luxury.
• When looking at furniture isn’t really that boring.
• When sugary-sweet teenage love songs makes you want to gag!
• When Bon Jovi and Bryan Adams songs are listed as “Flashbacks”.
• When you need ample of notice for a night out.
• When you start considering insurance policies.
• When having breakfast before heading off to work becomes important.
• When more than half your salary goes on your bills rather than yourself.
  
  And I think the greatest sign that you’re growing up is
• When marriage starts looking like something to look forward to rather than running away from.
  
  So you see, these are some completely alien things to many who are still exhilarated about turning 18 or 21, but I’m pretty sure that for those of us born in the early 80s, these are all signs that you have left your annoying youth behind and now you’re growing up : )

Jeswynna's Guide For Malaysian Drivers

Generally, when I drive, I try so very hard not to drive like a GIRL!! Now don't get all knotted up, I'm not dissing my own kind (for I'm a full supporter of women's rights and all that) ... but I swear, women are one of the WORST drivers I have ever seen! They are painfully slow, they take an eternity to make a simple left or right turn, they actually slow down when the lights turn amber, and I think the worse is how extremely undecided they can be on the road! This is especially worse when the drivers are the ones who just got their P.

So you see, in order not to be labelled as a 'girl' driver, I don't drive like them. I try to drive just a lil' above the speed limit without causing an accident, I make sure I give signals and turn quickly, amber lights means GO and I do give dirty looks when I see pathetically cowardly drivers : ) Forgive me, but driving is a responsibility.... for your own safety as well as for the patience of the one behind you!

So here's a compiled list of the things Malaysian drivers badly need to learn for the patience and sanity of GOOD drivers like me!

1) Signals are NOT decoration pieces

That little stick jotting out behind the wheel is what is called an INDICATOR. It is used to indicate to the poeple behind and in front that you are turning. Its not a decoration and it definetly will not spoil if you use it too much! There is nothing more frustrating than when you are waiting at a junction to turn, you see a car coming without any indicators so you wait for it to pass ... and right at the last moment, he/she turns where you are! Its good enough to make any sane person curse!

2) Green is GO

Ok fine, if you feel guilty speeding on amber, for God's sake don't do it when its freakin green! Some doinks have the galls to slowwwlllyyy crawl their car to pass the lights when its already telling you to step on it! Its no fun being the person behind and being in a hurry to get to work or whatever. So if its green, it means GO and go FAST!

3) The white broken lines on the road means lanes

There's a reason why our smart fore-fathers decided to draw little broken lines on roads so that idiot drivers would know where their lane ends at the next one begins. But of course, we have those who think that driving ON THE LINE is fun! Maybe for you, but trust me, the person behind you is just about ready to kick your ass! So if you are not blind or short-sighted, there is really no excuse for you to be in the middle of 2 lanes. Like our very popular saying .. "the road is not your dad's!"

4) Not using handsfree is not cool anymore

When the whole idea of hands-free came about, I know many thought it was so lame to be using one...but come on! That kind of thinking was soooo 90s! These days, if you are gonna be using one hand to hold the freakin phone and the other to manouevre the car, have the decency to pull up at least... Coz FYI, driving with one hand SLOWES the car and its extremely annoying to the people at the back when this happens...and the mood only gets worse when we finally over take you and stare to see what the heck is your problem....and see you on the damn phone!

5) Women - buck up!

I apologise if I offend women with this and I'm sure there are many good lady drivers out there. I'm glad to have them coz at least they represent some hope! Now I don't mean you need to speed like the devil's behind you, but stepping on the gas a little bit will not make you a bad person! Think before you get in the wheel, get your directions in order before you get to your destination, and driving is not like shopping! You don't contemplate on a turn for an eternity before making it. That kind of thinking is what got us here in the first place!

6) Stop staring at accidents

So somebody got their car hit by another somebody. And they need to settle the matter where ever they are. Its part of having a car! But that don't mean you gotta slow down and stare at the accident (that's usually on the opposite side off the road) and make comments like "Waaahhh! Expensive la!" or "Sure die one" or figure out how it happened ... How stupid is that? Would you want the whole world staring at you if you were in that place. With the kind of regular and many moronic drivers that we already have, chances are you'll see a few accidents a day... so not staring at some of them will not dry up your sick sense of fun.

7) If you're under 21, install some sense before your license

Again, apologies to the GOOD and responsible drivers who are under 21. However, sadly, most of them are plain lunatics on the road! A car is not a toy. You want a toy, go home and play with the brown boxes. So that means driving without looking at oncoming cars, or trying to make really stupid cuts in queues or very idiotically stopping right in the middle of the road will not earn you any marks for 'cool-ness'. For stupidity, definetly. There are people behind and in front of you who have important things to do and important places to go to, so being stuck with someone like you is highly annoying.

Now naturally, there are lots of people who think I'm a maniac on the road. But FYI, I have yet to cause an accident or be involved in one. I have not received any summonses for speeding or stupidity on the road and I have not damaged my car ... at all! So, try to learn something from this very enlightning blog and try not to piss people on the road any more than you must!

Bridget's Story

There are a lot of things that piss me of on an average day...bad weather, slow drivers, being bugged, no tea and so on...but I think the ultimate pisser for me, or any woman for that matter, would have to be when a helpless girl is attacked by men who are trying to prove some shit to the world by acting 'manly'.

A couple of days ago, my friend Bridget was driving home alone at night, and it was around 10 pm. That's still considered safe for Malaysian standards. So as she was driving, some swine rams her car from the back, causing her to lose control and hit the divider. The impact of that caused her car to die, and she couldn't start it to get the hell out of there.

And this is where this bunch of assholes who call themselves Mat Rempits came on bikes and smashed her car screen with a baton, and then smashed her head with it. She collapsed and passed out, and these losers continued to slash her face and arm with a knife. And finally, they took her credit cards, money and handphone and went off.

She lay there unconscious for almost an hour, until slowly she came around and saw tow trucks and an ambulance. She got herself to the hospital, only to be told that she was the 4th case of similar attacks from the same area...but, the others before her had their ears and stomachs slashed! Perhaps she was too tall for these midgets to reach, but whatever the reason could be, its a good think that they did no more damage to her.

I went to see her yesterday, she got discharged from the hospital. Her face received 10 stitches and she fractured her leg. The physical pain is nothing compared to the mental trauma she's going through, she's waking up from freaky nightmares every time she falls asleep, and she's afraid of driving alone again.

So these are men, those who are supposed to be stronger and better than women? They show this strength by attacking single, helpless women in the nights, using batons and knives? And they do this in groups? Wow..if this is what it means to be a man, I'd gladly be born a woman in every lifetime.

How much lower can a human get? Even animals know when and who to attack. I have never seen my grown male cat ever attack a kitten or a female cat, and I bet no one has heard of animals doing something this barbaric. So we are supposed to be the highest animal form, the one who has the ability to differentiate right from wrong, good from bad, and the ability to think rationally. And this is how its done?

And while all this is going on, I wonder where are the cops? Where are the people who are supposed to be protecting these girls? Many can say, well, when you know these things are going on, then girls shouldn't be going out! But, is that the right thing for us to do? Just stop living because some assholes don't know how to act civilised? How much sadder can we get?

My mom is worried about me driving alone anywhere, even daytime, so is my fiance and my whole family. I am worried too, because I think I could have easily been in Bridget's place, and that is something really scary. We read about this happening to others, but when it hits so close to home, it becomes very personal and it opens your eyes.

So I guess until Ash comes back I'm gonna be spending a lot of time at home. I dont want to be one of the statistics, plus the fear of having my face slashed is enough to keep me at home even if I do want to go out. It is sad that in this day and time, with all the rights women have fought for and have got, and with all the stuff we know about taking care of ourselves, we are still not safe.

Things Men Need To Know

My friend Joanna is this really great girl who's got a lot going for her...she's gorgeous, she's smart, she's outgoing and friendly and she's pretty much the successful young woman that we had hope to become when we were younger. I totally adore her. And the best part is...she's single!

For all that I am, I'm glad for one thing...that I'm not single anymore! Hahaha. Why? Well as much fun as finding a bf can be, it can also be one of the most frustrating things to do! Getting to know someone, trying to see if he likes you or not, if you like him or not, passing the inspection of the friends, meeting the family...God, its all so nerve-wrecking! I've like sooo passed these stages and now I'm at a stage where I'm comfortable with everyone.

So now here comes Joanna, who's pretty much ready for a serious relationship. And she's my gateway to the life of the modern, single woman. The problem is however, that with all the plusible and probable candidates she meets out there, she and I have come to one decision...men are totally clueless and dense on the very interesting and wonderful minds of females!

In this year, she has met some great guys who we think would be great bf-material - if only they weren't too slow to catch up! So she and I have listed a couple of things that men do which makes NO SENSE at all to us!

1. "I'll call you back" he says.

I totally believe she and I are not the only ones who are familiar with this line. Why is it that men end the conversation this way? You know, if you don't wanna talk anymore, there are like a hundred other ways to say it. You could try "I'll talk to you some other time" or "We'll catch up soon" or "We should talk again"... anything but "I'll call you back"! Coz when men say that, women wait! Yes we do, because when we tell people we'll call them back, we actually do it. Not only that, we call back the same day! So we pretty much expect the same thing too. When you don't call back, we think the worse things...from 'Did-I-said-something-wrong' all the way to 'You-died-in-a-car-crash'. So either don't say it, or stick to your word!

(I gotta give credit to Ash here, coz he so calls back when he says he will : )

2. Replying SMS-es

I have seen Joanna totally and completely frustrated when her SMS-es don't come back with answers. How hard is it to pick up the phone and text in a couple of words? Its considered polite, you know. If you're the type who don't like SMS-ing, then be courteous and send back one at least. If the girl can take the effort to do that, I'm sure you can too. SMS-es are important. Its less stressful than talking on the phone and we can judge his character by the way he replies, the language and style used and the speed at which it comes back! So its multi-purpose. Bottom line is - SMS-es are meant to be replied, even if its only with one word.

3. Being Dense

These days, even 6 year old kids know when someone likes someone. At our age, you really have to be completely dense to not have figured it out. Joanna actually got this totally complicated manicure thing done because he likes girls with manicured nails! How can that go unnoticed? Unless, of course, you are being ignorant on purpose. Playing hard to get is totally a girl's game. Men should not even bother doing it coz I doubt they can carry it off as well as we can. So if you think the girl likes you, do either of these two things :

(a) Acknowledge it if you like her too and move on

(b) Drop obvious hints that you don't see it happening and move on.

Its easier, faster and less stressful.

4. Asking Her Out

A date means this - you and her, meeting at a pre-decided venue, spending time together which includes conversation, jokes, laughter and fun, trying to assess each other not so obviously, you paying the bill and then parting ways. With a phone call the next day to either ask her out for another date, or simply to acknowledge the old one. A date does not mean asking her out with an sms at the last minute, its not a date where all your friends are there and you ask her to join you guys if she's free, and its definetly NOT a date when you get your friend to ask her out on your behalf to make it sound casual. Either ask her out the right way or don't at all. And if you're old enough to be her dad, chances are she probably is thinking the same too.

Joanna's experiences are something that can be transfered into a best-seller. Despite all the nice guys out there that she gets to know, men just seem to have forgotten the art of wooing! What's wrong with them? She does get a little exhausted playing this mind games with her dates coz she doesn't know what to expect from them. Life would be so much easier if people simply were straight forward and said whats on their minds, wouldn't it?

And I'm so glad I'm not in the game anymore : )

Clubbing?...So not for me!

A lot of people don’t get why I don’t fancy clubbing. To a lot of people, being young, modern, having your own transport and own cash automatically sums up to becoming a ‘clubber’ on weekends – voluntarily. Here, if you tell people that you don’t club, then its immediately assumed that either you’re the traditional type who stays at home, or your parents don’t let you go out and do ‘that kind of things’ or worse, then you must be really boring! Because if you’re not any one of the three then why don’t you club? Well I’m neither too traditional, or old-fashioned, I’m not boring and my family don’t give me a curfew. I still hate clubbing. Here’s why:

1. Its too crowded
There are like a limited number of clubs in KL. And there are like 50,000 clubbers out every weekend night. Do the math! When you walk into a club, there’s like a large battalion of people already there, with more coming as the night progresses. The toilets get dirty, messy and crowded, sometimes running out of water, the waiters take 20 mins to get to you and yet another 20 before your drink gets there, the dance floor is so tiny, but you get ¾ of the crowd pushing against each other, trying to find a spot to move (not dance), there is no place to sit so you end up standing the entire night – imagine doing that in high heels, and before you know it, you’re sweating, your hair gets plastered all over your face, your make up runs down and you start getting as uncomfortable as a human can possibly get!

2. Its way too noisy
I don’t get why do clubs need to blast the music as loud as it can go? What could possibly be the point of that? If they are trying to discourage communication, then I guess that is working. It’s the most frustrating thing to try and have a conversation in a club. You end up yelling at the top of your lungs, trying to talk into the ear of the person next to you, and yet half the story is lost out among the loud noise. The waiters don’t get your order right, your friends and you end up talking in sign and body languages, and your ears start begging you to be put out of their misery. By the end of the night, you’ve probably got a sore throat, an ear-ache and worse – a freakin headache!

3. Alcohol
Personally I have nothing against alcoholic drinks. If people want to drink, by all means go ahead. It really doesn’t matter in the least bit to me if someone is having 10 drinks or the entire bottle. Whatever. But I don’t drink. Alcohol is just not what I’d want to drink if given the choice. Why? Its too bitter for my taste. That goes for all the genres of alcoholic drinks. The most that I’d have is a glass of wine – and I can make one glass last 4 hours. Lager, brandy, rum, whisky or cocktails – they are all the same. You had one you pretty much had them all. And let’s not start on the price of these things! 35 bucks for a glass of wine? You must be kidding! I could get a whole new dress with that money, or go watch 3 movies, or go have a really good treat of dinner. So no I don’t drink simply because I don’t like the taste of alcohol. And in a club, telling the waiter to get you a glass of Coke or something earns you a really nasty look.

4. The hours
Clubbing regularly begins after 11 pm. And it can go on to 4 or 5 am. And what I really don’t get, like really and totally and completely don’t get is WHY do people find it necessary to stay in the club right until it closes? What is the point in that? Wouldn’t it be better if you went for like and hour or two, had a couple of drinks, talked and laughed a little and then left after that? Why stay until the very end? It doesn’t make sense at all. Saturday nights are usually the clubbing night, where everyone is out in hordes, trying to impress one another. People stay till late and then what happens the next day? You wake up after noon, your head hurts like hell, you feel lethargic and drowsy, you’re dehydrated, you’re moody and irritated and you get a couple of hours left of the day before Monday begins and its back to work! Why would you do that to yourself?

There are like a hundred other things to do when you want ‘fun’. Hang out at your friends’ place and party, go for a holiday and take a break, go watch a movie in a group, plan a wonderful dinner in or out, do some charity with your friends, hang out with your family for a change, do something crazy like ice-skating or rock climbing, do some shopping or play a board game. The list is endless. Anything beats a night out in a noisy, crowded, expensive and annoying place.

But despite my lack of love for clubs, I have no issues when my fiance or bro go clubbing. Just coz I hate it don't mean the whole world would too right? My fiance has all the freedom to go when he wants, with who he wants and how late he wants. He enjoys it, so that's all that matters to me. Just as long as I don't have to go as well : ) Of coz I do go when my presence is required..like my bro's and fiance's surprise birthday parties and some thing called a Traffic Light party..to support Joanna : ) Haha! Once in 5 months is good enough for me.

I’m a typical Aquarian, meaning I’m very much in touch with my aura and my surroundings. I need peace and tranquility to be able to function as a human. Sending me to a club is like a walk in field of landmines. Every step taken is extra careful, hoping not to step on some mines and blow myself up. That’s what clubs do to me. My inner self gets all jumbled up and confused and I’m disoriented for days afterwards. My idea of clubbing is simple – going for an hour with one drink – and then going back to civilization. But no one else seems to share this view.

Pammy's 25th!

Another one turns a year older! Hahaha!

Dear dear Pammy turns 25, and yesterday she had a little gathering and makan-makan at her place..did we have a good time!

Joanna and I were of coz one of the late ones to go, but that was coz I needed to sleep a little more at home : ) And was I glad to sleep...I so needed the energy later at her place.. Jo and I got there at abt 9-ish, and most of the friends were already there..Danny was half-way drunk by the time we got there...his excuse is that he's sad he's leaving! Yeah, of coz : )

There was this adorable chocolate cake, with little miniture football players on it, together with 2 goal posts - Pammy's passion of futsal! Definetly one of the best cakes I have had so far.. And someone had made brownies - really good ones. Though now Joanna and I have decided we are NOT gonna eat lunch thru next week : )

We pretty much waited for the uncles and aunties to leave - and then we started playing the card game! Lolz! I remember how much of fun I had when I first learned it, and now teaching the game to everyone was hillarious! Especially the 'make a rule' card! Imagine having a bunch of drunks making up crazy rules!

Michelle made the boys walk around the house in a single line, quacking like a chicken and saying "I'm gay!"...they did the chicken bit but mumbled God-knows-what! Then Selva decides to take revenge and make the girls kiss each other - unfortunetly, he forgot to SPECIFY that in detail - so we gladly kissed Pammy for her birthday!! My turn came, and I soooooo took my revenge on Danny for accidently pouring half a can of beer on my dress! What I made him do...I'll post a picture to show that : )

But there was pretty good news too - Pammy got her finals results yesterday, and she passed with 2nd Uppers - so there was a lot more to celebrate! Its good for her, with all the trying times she been thru the last few months.

All in all, it was a really good night. It says a lot about friends when you get to hang out with them, no matter after how long, and still manage to pick up where we left off the last. Its good to be able to feel totally comfortable and have some crazy laughs and good memories to remember, stories we'll think of later on in life. I wonder if I'll get these kind of times again - carefree, fun, fantastic - once Danny goes and Pammy starts work. It'll take more effort no doubt, but if every once in a while, if you get to have good and clean fun with really nice people, no fights and no trouble, lots of laughter and lunacy, and hope to do it all over again - then I must be a really lucky girl : )