Beautiful Liars

Men are douche-bags. And that is not a vindictive statement ... it is an actual fact! Men are genetically encoded to eventually grow from sweet, adorable kids into douche-bags. It's in their DNA. So whether they are from KL ... down south ... up north ... or as far away as America, they all have one thing in common - douche-bags.


My darlingest friend Sarah is kinda goin thru a real mess ... she's madly in love with this dude, and at first, he seemed like he was into her ... you know, the usual stuff men do when all relationships start ... he texted her all the time, e-mailed when he couldn't text, called her on time, and you know, pretty much made it very very clear that there is somethin goin on with them.


Now, see, as much as the myth of not knowin what women want is popular ... it's seriously a wrong myth. Women know EXACTLY what we want ... exactly. If we like you and if we want you, there is really no mistaking in that. It's obvious in the way we talk to you, the way we look at you, the way we worry about you and in the way we remember things about you, even things you have casually said 3 weeks ago. We tell you in plain and simple words that WE LIKE YOU ... either as a friend or as much, much more than that.



But with men! God forbid should they ever use simple English and tell us what's really goin on ... They'd rather come up with every single freakin excuse in the world they can possibly think of to NOT tell us what is really goin on with them ... Is that like some sort of weird unallowed action in the 'How To Be A Douche-Bag' rulebook? It must be, because all men seem to do that.


Now, back to Sarah ... so, after a really promising possible relationship potential, after all the right things were said, after the fairy tale ... guess what the dude does?! He dissappears! He goes from 10 text messages and 15 calls per day to ----- nuthin. Absolutely nuthin. Now, listen, doing that is ONLY allowed if you (the men) have somehow managed to get involved in the worst accident ever ... where you barely managed to escape death ... where your vehicle got burnt beyond recognition ... where your phone got smashed into pieces and so did the bones in your hands ... and that is the ONLY explainable and acceptable reason that allows you to escape from calling. Because no matter what else happens to you, no matter how bad it is, you still need to take 15 seconds out of it to send us a text (see how nice we are, we said a text ... so you dont even have to make the call) Its so simple, you know, if the girl matters to you, you will find a way to contact her. That's all there is to it.


Now my question is this : If you are not into us, why not just tell us that? Seriously, how hard is that? Do you have any idea how amazingly easy it would make things for everyone involved? All you gotta do is look at us and say these very easy words;


"Babe, it's just not working out for me".

How hard is that? Seriosuly, how hard? But noooooooo ..... those are the exact words we will never hear. If you guys would just try and make an attempt at telling us something along those lines, it would save us weeks and weeks of worrying, of analysing, of freakin out and of making things harder on you men ... seriously, guys, try it out one time and see how easy it really is.


So here's another thing that makes no sense to me. A guy meets a girl...he then starts calling her very often...textes her all the time...hangs out with her quite a bit... introduces her to his friends...makes short terms plans with her...makes suggestions that maybe both of them can 'make it work'...says he totally understands when she makes it CLEAR she doesn't wanna get hurt in this...tells her to go take her time and sort her mess out before both of them 'officially' go steady .... and THEN suddeny in a matter of a couple of weeks ... he changes his entire story to that along the lines of "I'm not sure ... I'm scared ... I need space to think ... I dunno how I feel now ..."


Seriously la ... how can you guys not know how you feel? It's either you like someone or you don't la ... so easy, aint' it? Here's a tip for all you men who dunno how you feel: If you are not sure, then it's already a NO from you. Realise that.



Because when you like someone, you sure as hell don't make them wait and wait and try and figure out whether or not you like them anymore ... if you really like a girl, then go make it CLEAR and do whatever it takes to make her yours la ...! If she's a special girl, or if she's one that you know you wanna keep ... then not making your move immediately is the stupidest thing you can do ... if she's really great, trust me, there are other men out there who will also realise that and are not gonna sit back and let her walk away. And these men are gonna deserve her.


And if you have seriously spent enough time with her to know that she's a nice and a great girl, but for some reason, there just isn't any spark on your part ... then the kindest thing you can do is go tell her that it's just not working out for you.
Don't tell her you wanna 'pause it' ...
Don't tell her you're 'freaked out' because whether you realise it or not, she is freaked out too ...
Don't tell her you need space to figure out how you feel because then she's probably gonna be waitin for an answer ... and it isn't fair to make her wait ... and chances are she liked you when she met you ... she liked you when she gave you her number ... she liked you when she hung out with you ... she liked you when you went away for work ... she liked you thru out the the whole 'Im not sure drama' ... and believe it or not, she STILL likes you despite it all. You moron.
Don't lie and make excuses about seeing how things are gonna go because ... come on, ... if you really think that ... then obviously you have already decided that things aren't gonna go anywhere. So go tell her.

So bottom line: If you're not into the girl, make it clear. Don't leave her guessing and don't leave her hanging. It isn't fair ... at all. We won't get mad at you for being honest ... because actually, you would be makin things SO much easier for us by being frank ... and we'd probably really respect you for that and not go around bitchin about you. The truth is ... we bitch only when you guys become beautiful liars. So see, women are really easy to understand.

If we like you, you'll know it.
If we want to try and work it out, you'll know it.
If we want to be with you, you'll know it.
And if we are not into you, you'll know that too.

So guys, don't make promises you can't keep. That's so yesterday ... if you kinda indicated at a promise, then keep it. If you can't keep the promise, come out and say it loud and clear. No need to make things any more complicated than they have to be.

It's either a 'yes' or a 'no' .... no 'maybes' in a relationship.