Generally, when I drive, I try so very hard not to drive like a GIRL!! Now don't get all knotted up, I'm not dissing my own kind (for I'm a full supporter of women's rights and all that) ... but I swear, women are one of the WORST drivers I have ever seen! They are painfully slow, they take an eternity to make a simple left or right turn, they actually slow down when the lights turn amber, and I think the worse is how extremely undecided they can be on the road! This is especially worse when the drivers are the ones who just got their P.
So you see, in order not to be labelled as a 'girl' driver, I don't drive like them. I try to drive just a lil' above the speed limit without causing an accident, I make sure I give signals and turn quickly, amber lights means GO and I do give dirty looks when I see pathetically cowardly drivers : ) Forgive me, but driving is a responsibility.... for your own safety as well as for the patience of the one behind you!
So here's a compiled list of the things Malaysian drivers badly need to learn for the patience and sanity of GOOD drivers like me!
1) Signals are NOT decoration pieces
That little stick jotting out behind the wheel is what is called an INDICATOR. It is used to indicate to the poeple behind and in front that you are turning. Its not a decoration and it definetly will not spoil if you use it too much! There is nothing more frustrating than when you are waiting at a junction to turn, you see a car coming without any indicators so you wait for it to pass ... and right at the last moment, he/she turns where you are! Its good enough to make any sane person curse!
2) Green is GO
Ok fine, if you feel guilty speeding on amber, for God's sake don't do it when its freakin green! Some doinks have the galls to slowwwlllyyy crawl their car to pass the lights when its already telling you to step on it! Its no fun being the person behind and being in a hurry to get to work or whatever. So if its green, it means GO and go FAST!
3) The white broken lines on the road means lanes
There's a reason why our smart fore-fathers decided to draw little broken lines on roads so that idiot drivers would know where their lane ends at the next one begins. But of course, we have those who think that driving ON THE LINE is fun! Maybe for you, but trust me, the person behind you is just about ready to kick your ass! So if you are not blind or short-sighted, there is really no excuse for you to be in the middle of 2 lanes. Like our very popular saying .. "the road is not your dad's!"
4) Not using handsfree is not cool anymore
When the whole idea of hands-free came about, I know many thought it was so lame to be using one...but come on! That kind of thinking was soooo 90s! These days, if you are gonna be using one hand to hold the freakin phone and the other to manouevre the car, have the decency to pull up at least... Coz FYI, driving with one hand SLOWES the car and its extremely annoying to the people at the back when this happens...and the mood only gets worse when we finally over take you and stare to see what the heck is your problem....and see you on the damn phone!
5) Women - buck up!
I apologise if I offend women with this and I'm sure there are many good lady drivers out there. I'm glad to have them coz at least they represent some hope! Now I don't mean you need to speed like the devil's behind you, but stepping on the gas a little bit will not make you a bad person! Think before you get in the wheel, get your directions in order before you get to your destination, and driving is not like shopping! You don't contemplate on a turn for an eternity before making it. That kind of thinking is what got us here in the first place!
6) Stop staring at accidents
So somebody got their car hit by another somebody. And they need to settle the matter where ever they are. Its part of having a car! But that don't mean you gotta slow down and stare at the accident (that's usually on the opposite side off the road) and make comments like "Waaahhh! Expensive la!" or "Sure die one" or figure out how it happened ... How stupid is that? Would you want the whole world staring at you if you were in that place. With the kind of regular and many moronic drivers that we already have, chances are you'll see a few accidents a day... so not staring at some of them will not dry up your sick sense of fun.
7) If you're under 21, install some sense before your license
Again, apologies to the GOOD and responsible drivers who are under 21. However, sadly, most of them are plain lunatics on the road! A car is not a toy. You want a toy, go home and play with the brown boxes. So that means driving without looking at oncoming cars, or trying to make really stupid cuts in queues or very idiotically stopping right in the middle of the road will not earn you any marks for 'cool-ness'. For stupidity, definetly. There are people behind and in front of you who have important things to do and important places to go to, so being stuck with someone like you is highly annoying.
Now naturally, there are lots of people who think I'm a maniac on the road. But FYI, I have yet to cause an accident or be involved in one. I have not received any summonses for speeding or stupidity on the road and I have not damaged my car ... at all! So, try to learn something from this very enlightning blog and try not to piss people on the road any more than you must!
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