My friend Joanna is this really great girl who's got a lot going for her...she's gorgeous, she's smart, she's outgoing and friendly and she's pretty much the successful young woman that we had hope to become when we were younger. I totally adore her. And the best part is...she's single!
For all that I am, I'm glad for one thing...that I'm not single anymore! Hahaha. Why? Well as much fun as finding a bf can be, it can also be one of the most frustrating things to do! Getting to know someone, trying to see if he likes you or not, if you like him or not, passing the inspection of the friends, meeting the family...God, its all so nerve-wrecking! I've like sooo passed these stages and now I'm at a stage where I'm comfortable with everyone.
So now here comes Joanna, who's pretty much ready for a serious relationship. And she's my gateway to the life of the modern, single woman. The problem is however, that with all the plusible and probable candidates she meets out there, she and I have come to one decision...men are totally clueless and dense on the very interesting and wonderful minds of females!
In this year, she has met some great guys who we think would be great bf-material - if only they weren't too slow to catch up! So she and I have listed a couple of things that men do which makes NO SENSE at all to us!
1. "I'll call you back" he says.
I totally believe she and I are not the only ones who are familiar with this line. Why is it that men end the conversation this way? You know, if you don't wanna talk anymore, there are like a hundred other ways to say it. You could try "I'll talk to you some other time" or "We'll catch up soon" or "We should talk again"... anything but "I'll call you back"! Coz when men say that, women wait! Yes we do, because when we tell people we'll call them back, we actually do it. Not only that, we call back the same day! So we pretty much expect the same thing too. When you don't call back, we think the worse things...from 'Did-I-said-something-wrong' all the way to 'You-died-in-a-car-crash'. So either don't say it, or stick to your word!
(I gotta give credit to Ash here, coz he so calls back when he says he will : )
2. Replying SMS-es
I have seen Joanna totally and completely frustrated when her SMS-es don't come back with answers. How hard is it to pick up the phone and text in a couple of words? Its considered polite, you know. If you're the type who don't like SMS-ing, then be courteous and send back one at least. If the girl can take the effort to do that, I'm sure you can too. SMS-es are important. Its less stressful than talking on the phone and we can judge his character by the way he replies, the language and style used and the speed at which it comes back! So its multi-purpose. Bottom line is - SMS-es are meant to be replied, even if its only with one word.
3. Being Dense
These days, even 6 year old kids know when someone likes someone. At our age, you really have to be completely dense to not have figured it out. Joanna actually got this totally complicated manicure thing done because he likes girls with manicured nails! How can that go unnoticed? Unless, of course, you are being ignorant on purpose. Playing hard to get is totally a girl's game. Men should not even bother doing it coz I doubt they can carry it off as well as we can. So if you think the girl likes you, do either of these two things :
(a) Acknowledge it if you like her too and move on
(b) Drop obvious hints that you don't see it happening and move on.
Its easier, faster and less stressful.
4. Asking Her Out
A date means this - you and her, meeting at a pre-decided venue, spending time together which includes conversation, jokes, laughter and fun, trying to assess each other not so obviously, you paying the bill and then parting ways. With a phone call the next day to either ask her out for another date, or simply to acknowledge the old one. A date does not mean asking her out with an sms at the last minute, its not a date where all your friends are there and you ask her to join you guys if she's free, and its definetly NOT a date when you get your friend to ask her out on your behalf to make it sound casual. Either ask her out the right way or don't at all. And if you're old enough to be her dad, chances are she probably is thinking the same too.
Joanna's experiences are something that can be transfered into a best-seller. Despite all the nice guys out there that she gets to know, men just seem to have forgotten the art of wooing! What's wrong with them? She does get a little exhausted playing this mind games with her dates coz she doesn't know what to expect from them. Life would be so much easier if people simply were straight forward and said whats on their minds, wouldn't it?
And I'm so glad I'm not in the game anymore : )
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