Beautiful Liars

Men are douche-bags. And that is not a vindictive statement ... it is an actual fact! Men are genetically encoded to eventually grow from sweet, adorable kids into douche-bags. It's in their DNA. So whether they are from KL ... down south ... up north ... or as far away as America, they all have one thing in common - douche-bags.


My darlingest friend Sarah is kinda goin thru a real mess ... she's madly in love with this dude, and at first, he seemed like he was into her ... you know, the usual stuff men do when all relationships start ... he texted her all the time, e-mailed when he couldn't text, called her on time, and you know, pretty much made it very very clear that there is somethin goin on with them.


Now, see, as much as the myth of not knowin what women want is popular ... it's seriously a wrong myth. Women know EXACTLY what we want ... exactly. If we like you and if we want you, there is really no mistaking in that. It's obvious in the way we talk to you, the way we look at you, the way we worry about you and in the way we remember things about you, even things you have casually said 3 weeks ago. We tell you in plain and simple words that WE LIKE YOU ... either as a friend or as much, much more than that.



But with men! God forbid should they ever use simple English and tell us what's really goin on ... They'd rather come up with every single freakin excuse in the world they can possibly think of to NOT tell us what is really goin on with them ... Is that like some sort of weird unallowed action in the 'How To Be A Douche-Bag' rulebook? It must be, because all men seem to do that.


Now, back to Sarah ... so, after a really promising possible relationship potential, after all the right things were said, after the fairy tale ... guess what the dude does?! He dissappears! He goes from 10 text messages and 15 calls per day to ----- nuthin. Absolutely nuthin. Now, listen, doing that is ONLY allowed if you (the men) have somehow managed to get involved in the worst accident ever ... where you barely managed to escape death ... where your vehicle got burnt beyond recognition ... where your phone got smashed into pieces and so did the bones in your hands ... and that is the ONLY explainable and acceptable reason that allows you to escape from calling. Because no matter what else happens to you, no matter how bad it is, you still need to take 15 seconds out of it to send us a text (see how nice we are, we said a text ... so you dont even have to make the call) Its so simple, you know, if the girl matters to you, you will find a way to contact her. That's all there is to it.


Now my question is this : If you are not into us, why not just tell us that? Seriously, how hard is that? Do you have any idea how amazingly easy it would make things for everyone involved? All you gotta do is look at us and say these very easy words;


"Babe, it's just not working out for me".

How hard is that? Seriosuly, how hard? But noooooooo ..... those are the exact words we will never hear. If you guys would just try and make an attempt at telling us something along those lines, it would save us weeks and weeks of worrying, of analysing, of freakin out and of making things harder on you men ... seriously, guys, try it out one time and see how easy it really is.


So here's another thing that makes no sense to me. A guy meets a girl...he then starts calling her very often...textes her all the time...hangs out with her quite a bit... introduces her to his friends...makes short terms plans with her...makes suggestions that maybe both of them can 'make it work'...says he totally understands when she makes it CLEAR she doesn't wanna get hurt in this...tells her to go take her time and sort her mess out before both of them 'officially' go steady .... and THEN suddeny in a matter of a couple of weeks ... he changes his entire story to that along the lines of "I'm not sure ... I'm scared ... I need space to think ... I dunno how I feel now ..."


Seriously la ... how can you guys not know how you feel? It's either you like someone or you don't la ... so easy, aint' it? Here's a tip for all you men who dunno how you feel: If you are not sure, then it's already a NO from you. Realise that.



Because when you like someone, you sure as hell don't make them wait and wait and try and figure out whether or not you like them anymore ... if you really like a girl, then go make it CLEAR and do whatever it takes to make her yours la ...! If she's a special girl, or if she's one that you know you wanna keep ... then not making your move immediately is the stupidest thing you can do ... if she's really great, trust me, there are other men out there who will also realise that and are not gonna sit back and let her walk away. And these men are gonna deserve her.


And if you have seriously spent enough time with her to know that she's a nice and a great girl, but for some reason, there just isn't any spark on your part ... then the kindest thing you can do is go tell her that it's just not working out for you.
Don't tell her you wanna 'pause it' ...
Don't tell her you're 'freaked out' because whether you realise it or not, she is freaked out too ...
Don't tell her you need space to figure out how you feel because then she's probably gonna be waitin for an answer ... and it isn't fair to make her wait ... and chances are she liked you when she met you ... she liked you when she gave you her number ... she liked you when she hung out with you ... she liked you when you went away for work ... she liked you thru out the the whole 'Im not sure drama' ... and believe it or not, she STILL likes you despite it all. You moron.
Don't lie and make excuses about seeing how things are gonna go because ... come on, ... if you really think that ... then obviously you have already decided that things aren't gonna go anywhere. So go tell her.

So bottom line: If you're not into the girl, make it clear. Don't leave her guessing and don't leave her hanging. It isn't fair ... at all. We won't get mad at you for being honest ... because actually, you would be makin things SO much easier for us by being frank ... and we'd probably really respect you for that and not go around bitchin about you. The truth is ... we bitch only when you guys become beautiful liars. So see, women are really easy to understand.

If we like you, you'll know it.
If we want to try and work it out, you'll know it.
If we want to be with you, you'll know it.
And if we are not into you, you'll know that too.

So guys, don't make promises you can't keep. That's so yesterday ... if you kinda indicated at a promise, then keep it. If you can't keep the promise, come out and say it loud and clear. No need to make things any more complicated than they have to be.

It's either a 'yes' or a 'no' .... no 'maybes' in a relationship.

A Few Of My Un-Favourite Things

You know how sometimes somethings just piss you off? How sometimes you wish you could just kick someone or something who's annoying you? But maybe it's just our Asian culture where we pretty much end up swallowing our irritation and smile...but with a LOT of cursing in your heads!

I thought today I'm gonna make a list of things that seriously annoy me...and I'm very sure lots and lots (and I mean LOTS) of people out there share them with me....but like I said, maybe being good Asian youths, we pretty much pretend we're cool with it, and trust me, the way I can pretend sometimes, it's amazing how I haven't won some Academy Award yet!!

Things I really, really don't like:

1) Sharing my food.

OK, I so know how weird this might sounds, especially being a Malaysian and all, where we pretty much bend backwards to be caring and loving and all that jazz....but I really have an issue with sharing my food!! I mean, it's my food, right? I took it/bought it/ordered it for myself, right? So why must someone else eat of my plate? It's really irritating. If you like it so much, well good, keep it in mind and order it the next time....but don't eat mine! Similarly, it's equally annoying when people force you to sample their food....I mean, I'm sure it must be yummy and all that, but I really don't want to taste it. The worse is, when you politely decline tasting someone's food, but they just go on and on forcing you "try some"... you just wanna shove the whole freakin plate down their throats! If I really wanted it, I would have ordered it, you know.

The only one I share my plate with would be a little kid, a baby, my cat or a bf. If you're none of them, then don't share my food. So simple.

2) People touching me.

Don't touch me. It's my skin, my hands, my arms, my body. Go touch your own one. Its a BIG issue for me....random hugs, arms around my shoulder, touching my hair!! If you're not my bestie, Jasper, a hairstylist or my family, then don't touch me. If it's something that bothers you, then at least ask if 'Can I hug you?'...otherwise, a nice, good handshake is awesome enough....or better yet, wave and say hello and wave and say goodbye. On this note, if anyone ever wants to get me a spa gift, please don't ever make it a Body Massage. I'll probably give it away.

3) Screaming kids

I totally understand how parents might think that their child is the most brightest star around, but we got news for you. Other people don't. And that includes how other, normal, sane people also don't think you little devil SCREAMING on the top of his lungs is cute either. If you like his screaming so much, record it and play it on your Ipod or something. We don't wanna hear it!

You know sometimes you're like at a mall, or the bookstore, or worse, at a maternity hospital, and some of these kids just run along the corridors and yelling for God knows what? It just touches this particular nerve in your brain and you just grind your teeth and bite your tongue. And you're there, staring at them, and their parents act so oblivious to how every other person there is ready to whip the child themselves! How hard could it be to shut them up in public? When I was a kid, I made all the ruckus I wanted at home, but when I was out, I was like this perfect angel....you know why? Cause my mom had no issue with the occasional slap : ) It works! A slap once in a while SO solves all tantrums!! But now, its more like the kids rule the parents!

4) Telling me I put on weight

I know if I have put on weight. Its my weight, ain't it? You really don't need to do me this huge favour of specifically pointing it out. I really don't care if you're my friend, colleague or student. If I have put on weight, the usual, normal etiquette specifically tells you to NEVER SAY IT. It's kinda like how you never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you specifically see the baby popping out of her with your own eyes! Its such a Malaysian thing to gloat and enjoy the fact that someone's put on weight. Would you like it if I pointed out things about you that annoy you? Telling me that I've gained weight really isn't gonna make me like you anymore than I don't, and neither is it miraculously gonna dissolve that weight. So shut it. I know that I have, so you're really NOT helping by pointing it out. Besides, how is it any of your business?

5) Asking me when's the big day?

First of all, why do people even call it 'the big day'? What's so BIG about it? It costs tons of money, endless stress and tension, crazy ass running around and juggling, and more often than not, more arguments about what you should and shouldn't do. Its so much easier to just get registered. Well, that is one issue by itself.

I'm the one getting married, right? So if you see me still single, it obviously means I'm not married. When I do get married, you'll know. So what's there to ask? If I'm not getting married, again, obviously, there must be a reason for it, right? And if I'm not telling you the reason, it means you're not important enough to me that I should share my reasons with you. So why embarrass yourself? This is kinda like the weight thing, you know, there are some things you really should not ask someone. Whats even more annoying is when people you don't meet in, like, forever, suddenly chat you up on FB and without even a "Hello", they go straight to, "Eh, you almost 30 la. When you getting married?" Dude, first of all, you SO need to crawl out of whatever rock you been under for the last 2 decades, cause FYI, girls are getting married later in life. Secondly, how does it affect you? I'll marry when I think I want to. Stop asking.

6) Clubbing

Anyone who knows me, knows this. I hate clubbing.

It's loud, it's noisy, it's crowded, the toilets are always filthy and smelly, there are never enough chairs so you end up standing, while wearing heels, for 4 hours, people are constantly brushing pass you or stepping on your toes, it's smoky, it's annoying, the waiter takes a lifetime to get your drinks, the overall bill gives you a mild stroke, people get drunk and talk crap, people get drunk and behave like a bunch of idiots, the music gives you a headache and leaves you half deaf, most of the guys are looking to get hooked up, most of the girls are looking to get hooked up, everyone's flashing idiotic cameras in your face with the flash gives you temporary blindness, people look at you like you're an imbecile if you don't finish your drink in 5 seconds, your view is pretty much of the same crowd through out the night, conversation is ridiculous and you end up screaming in someone's ear just to be heard, your hair smells like Marlboro the next day, everyone is forcing you to dance when you really rather not, you end up going home at 6 in the morning and you wake up the next day with smelly hair, swollen eyes, a deaf ear, a dry throat, a lethargic body and an empty wallet.

So tell me again when the fun part begins?

7) People wanting pets to see what it can do for you

This one is definitely one of the things that annoys the life out of me. OK, so first of all, I'm a cat person. Now this don't mean I don't like dogs, cause I love dogs too, but if I had a choice to pick either one for a pet, I'm gonna go for a cat. So what really bugs me is when people go like, "Oh, you know, a cat can't do anything for you, he can't even protect you, like a dog can". This is unbelievable! So what you're saying is that we should keep a pet ONLY if it can do something for us? Otherwise, its a waste of time? I really don't think there's anything worse than that! That's like saying you only love your parents because they give you money, and they gave you food and shelter. Otherwise, I'm not gonna love them? How does this even make sense?

First up, to me personally, animals are of a lot more value than humans. Humans are such selfish and immature beings. A cat (or dog) would NEVER think that he's only gonna want to be with you to see what you can do for him, otherwise, you can go to hell. But we, supposedly the intelligent being, do think that.

So if people out there really think I'm wasting my time with a cat, because you think he does nothing for me, then here's the things that he DOES DO: he runs to the door everyday and meows in greeting when I get home, he follows me around the house so that I know he's here, he jumps on my bed every morning to wake me up when I snooze after my alarm goes off, he brings me his little paper ball so I can play catch with him, he sits on my laps and purrs away every night, he brings joy when I see him acting mischievous, he makes me laugh when he gets tangled up in strings, he makes me adore him when he insists on drinking only from the water fountain, he makes me smile when he rubs his fur on my legs and he makes me so happy every moment of the day.

Now, are you gonna say that all these points are absolutely unimportant and pointless simply because a cat can't protect my house? Seriously?

It is so ridiculous to even consider keeping a pet for any other reason than the fact that the only reason you should a pet, any pet, it because you love him and he loves you. Whether its a dog, a cat, a monkey, a chicken, a cow, a parrot, a rabbit or a hamster. So really, don't talk about how silly keeping a cat is if you don't understand the bigger picture.

So, you see, there a LOT of things in the world that seriously annoy people, especially someone like me. If you think about it, its really easy to not annoy people. Get a book on etiquette and READ. Don't shoot your mouth off without thinking what you're saying, don't behave like an idiot, don't do things that you don't like others doing to you. Seriously, just using the fact that its an 'Asian thing' isn't a good enough reason to make a fool out of yourself, right? If it's absolutely critical that you must be an idiot and not give people their space then, wait for them to like you, or at least, to tolerate you.

The Mad One Hour Rush

I began my classes today!!! Oh my God...the driving!! What was I thinking??!!

Annoying classes that I have this time are twice a week! Thursday's ones are a killer...Imagine driving all the way to uni, in the horrible hot and humid weather, and trying soooo hard not to kill the drivers in front of you!!!

Why oh why are Malaysian drivers so stupid on the roads? Especially those who drive right smack in front of you, cooly doing 45 km/h, crusing down the road, while talking to some idiot next to them, or worse, on the phone (not hands-free, mind you!) and totally clueless to the demon growing within you!!

I had one of these idiotic-kopi o -clueless-road crawler today.. Imagine this, my work ended at 2 pm, and I had to be at my class by 3 pm...and this is KL we are talking about (where you need an hour just to get out of your housing area)...so I had to rush to my car after work, manouever thru the hormone-driven driving of 18 year olds at college, be patient through the traffic lights, endure the highly intelligent idea of road works at 1 pm on the busiest road in Setapak, try not to yell at the huge busses and taxis that decide to stop just when you are right behind them....and of coz, live thru the wonderful KL traffic....rush to my uni, find a parking, and dash in the heat to my class before my lecturer gets there. And this is done within an hour! Phew!

So there I was, rushing thru Jalan Bangsar, and just as I was about to congratulate myself of my excellent driving skills of having 10 mins to spare, there comes this alpha-idiot who thinks that driving in between the lanes would win him the freakin Nobel prize for intelligence! Now naturally, he falls in the supra-idiotic category for

(1) being unable to decide which lane he wants to be in, and

(2) being completely ignorant of the fact that there are actually others on the road!

And then comes my favourite part..the traffic light!

In my dictionary, any colour other than red means go! Even if its amber. And if its green?
Duh-h! But this doink sees the green, sees other cars racing by, sees me thru his rearview mirror practically breathing down his back...and what does he do? He slows down! At a freakin green traffic light! God...you can imagine how much I would have loved to kick his ass!! I think my temper and blood pressure reached to boiling point in that very instance. Thus the headache.

Sighhhhh...I think I need to get myself a driver. I'm so close to losing my patience with these idiotic road crawlers. And its only been Week 1. By the time I get to Week 14, I'm pretty sure I'll give up my driving license and sell my car.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

You know how some people go on and on about there being only ONE love in a lifetime...about how marrying your childhood sweetheart is like a dream...about how being with only one person from the time you figure out you like the opposite sex till you die is the greatest accomplishment in life?

I'm sure that happens for a lot of people - having only ONE person and never looking anywhere else. But isn't that a little sad? Just a little pathetic too? It's like you've got this huge mansion, right, but you're only allowed to look out from just one window and see only one view. How would you know that that's the view you like, if you don't get a chance to look at other views? Maybe you might like the ocean view, or the road view, or even the backyard view. The point is, you gotta be able to see a WHOLE lot of views before you figure out what you like. Don't you agree?

So, anyhow, I'm a strong supporter of a person going out with and dating lots of different type of people. The more people you go out with, the more you realise what you prefer and what you don't. Arrange marriages are for psychos. So, for a girl, you really have to expand your horizons and date a variety of people. That don't make you no slut, let's be clear on that. That just means that when you do decide on being Mrs. Whoever, you decide that after being really sure. Isn't that a good thing!

Now, as usual, I have a list of the different types of guys a girl should date in her lifetime.

a) Type 1 - The Overly, Suffocatingly Sensitive and Romantic Guy

These are the guys who pretty much remember EVERY anniversary - the first phone call, the first date, the first kiss, the first shared milo ais, the first fight, the first person to apologise after the fight...etc, etc. They are the ones who bend backwards to celebrate EVERY anniversary - from red roses to cards to presents to gagging originally written poems. Of course, they are really nice guys, but they also tend to be just a little extreme enough that you wanna stuff the next rose down their throat : )

Warning: These guys wouldn't think twice to cry in front of you if their feelings have been hurt. So if you're one of those who find crying men absolutely adorable, then by all means stick with him. But if you're ready to scream at the next "No, you put down the phone first" line....it's time to cut loose and run, girl.

b) Type 2 - The Bad Boy/ The Player

The bad boys - we love them, we think they are SO cool, we totally wanna go for a ride on their motorbikes, we absolutely wanna be their girlfriends - but we already know it's not going anywhere. The bad boys/players are all charm. They make you wait and wait for their phone call, they won't think twice of standing you up at a date, they easily forget you as soon as the next girl looks at them - but then, they simply have to look at you with puppy dog eyes to make you forgive them for the current misbehaving and all future misbehaving. That's why they are called bad boys.

Warning: Bad boys/players know one thing and one thing only - to have a good time. Their ambitions and long-term goals are pretty much limited to an extent of 3 hours. They can party like it's the end of the world - but they can't promise you if they'll call you tonight. if you're looking for a ring, you're looking at the wrong one. Bad boys/players are fun to show you how to have fun. You DON'T wanna bring this boy home to meet mummy and daddy.

c) Type 3 - The Older Man

The older man is the one who is waaaayyyy older than you. He's completely responsible, has a retirement plan in check, has one or some property, is probably doing really well in his career and is all ready to marry you and move on to the next phase in his life. He never forgets important dates, he is very practical (maybe a little TOO practical at times), he knows how to have a good time but maybe is a little too uptight to really relax when partying. He promises a ready-made life, but stick with this one only if you are one of those who thinks a comfortable (and by that, I mean rich) life is a happy life.

Warning: The older man may seem like the perfect guy, but remember, he might not know who Edward Cullen or Adam Lambert are. He might talk passionately about ABBA or Grease (if you're already asking 'What's ABBA'?, you see the point) and he might find your chilled out attitude a bit childish. He might pressure you to grow up and be an adult - forgetting that you are still in your twenties and not a senior citizen.

d) Type 4 - The Asshole

The asshole is a person who pretty much makes your life miserable. He sulks, he looks for arguments on purpose, he blames you for everything that goes wrong in his life, he is a complete loser, he wouldn't think twice about verbally abusing you (of course, if its physical abuse, make sure you smack him in his balls and leave!) and he is generally a controlling maniac. These guys probably suffer from some childhood stigma or are just born with a stick up their you-know-where, but they still think the world owes them a fortune. A month or less of dating this type of a person is enough.

Warning: The assholes are complete losers. They might show you a really nice aspect the first few dates, but by the 2nd week of dating, you'll see their assholistic tendencies. Leave - and never look back.

e) Type 5 - The Really Really Sweet Guy

These guys are absolutely perfect. They know exactly what you mean when you're trying to explain something, they get your jokes, they are there for you after a really bad day at work/school, they bring you chocolates when you're craving for it in the middle of the night, they're your shoulder to cry on, they listen to you bitch and complain about everything from A-Z, and they love you just the way you are. The only problem is, they pretty much end up being a really great buddy rather than the love of your life. Which in turn, isn't such a bad deal either. You get to have a buddy to hang out with who is really like another you.

Warning: You're lucky if you can figure out that this one is a real gem of a guy. Set him up with a great girl, but don't end up being the girl. Remember, if there aren't any sparks to start with, there are never gonna be any sparks.

So these are the kind of girls all girls should get a chance to date. These guys teach you a lot of stuff.

The Romantic will teach you the importance of a little love and romance in a relationship - and to maintain that romance no matter if you been dating a month or married for 25 years.

The Bad Boy teaches you how to let loose, chill out and have a really good time and this is a lesson you need to remember when bills are piling up, work is stressing you out and you're pretty much ready to scream.

The Older man teaches you when to stop behaving like a child and to grow up - to not run away from responsibilities and to look forward to a different stage in life.

The Asshole teaches you to keep your temper in check and to generally be a nicer person.

and The Sweet guy teaches you to be there for someone else, to learn to love others and to be your guy's best friend.

And once you've seen through so many windows and experienced all the different views, that's when you might wanna decide about the final view you're choosing. The final view's gotta be good, you really don't wanna look at something you don't like looking at for the next 50 - 60 years of your life, do you?

Charlie Love

My Charlie died last week.

It had to be one of the worst and most painful moments of my life, watching my sweet boy take his last breath in my arms, and feeling helpless and powerless to do anything, other than to watch him go. The only thing that was worse than that was enduring the pain of digging his grave and then laying my baby in the cold earth, knowing its the last time I'd hold him so close.

Its been a week now. I wish it was months already. His memories seem to be in every part of the house. I see him on the dining table, my computer, my bed, the toilets, the couch. His bowl's still in the kitchen, all the packets of his cat food and cat biscuits in their containers. The pails in the bathroom are still filled with water, because he used to refuse to drink from his bowl, and only drank from the pails. I found his fur on my car-seats today.

One of the worst thing about death is probably the suddeness of the whole thing. The person goes away, but you're still left behind trying to get used to the whole thing. But its so weird because, you know they're gone, but at every point, you find yourself looking for them. And an instant later, the whole thing comes back to you. I do that the whole day. I wake up and think, 'Gotta feed Charlie', or I park outside my house and actually wait a heartbeat for Charlie to come greet me. Before I go to bed, I think 'Better bring him in'. Yesterday evening, I almost yelled his name coz it was time for his food. And then immediately, even before I finish the thought about feeding Charlie, I remember that he's dead. Those are some of the hardest moments of the day.

In times like this, when your beloved and treassured pet has died, and when you're in pain because you're missing him, one of the most cruelest and horrible thing another person can say to you would be, 'Oh, its just a cat.' Wow. My boy has become 'just a cat'. That's like telling someone not to cry over a lost pencil, or a cancelled TV show. 'Its just a pencil. No big deal, get a new one.' Charlie might be just another animal to you, but to me, he was much much more than that. He was my love.

If he were 'just a cat', would I be writing here about him? Would I be in so much pain after losing him? Would I hurt each time I looked at his grave? Charlie was never 'just a cat'. He was my joy. He made me laugh with his nonsense, like each time when he tried to chase after a bird, or when he stood staring at a fly for hours, hoping he'll catch it. Or when he'd try to get his huge fat tummy through the grill door and rattle the whole thing.

Charlie was my companion. He waited in my room every morning until I woke up and got dressed and then he'd come downstairs with me. He'd come running out to my car to greet me and to jump in each time I came home, and then lie on his back so that I could rub his tummy. He'd go look for me all over the house if I was gone for a few days. He'd climb into my bed every night, and sleep next to my pillow right until morning.

Charlie was my friend. He listened too all my rantings and ravings with sleepy eyes. He'd jump right on any test papers I was marking so that I could pet him. He's sit on my computer table each time I was using the PC. He'd sneakily try to cheat me into feeding him twice. He'd stand in front of the fridge as soon as anyone opened it and try to run off with the packet of ikan bilis. He'd try to grab chicken or fish from my plate when I wasn't looking. He'd poke his head through every plastic bag that contained something new that was bought, just in case there was something in there for him. He's cover his eyes with his paws if I drew the curtains every morning and let the sunlight in while he was still asleep.

Charlie was my annoyance. He'd find a way to sit in my laps just as I'd be getting all comfy with a good book so that I could pay more attention to him instead. He'd bite my hand, feet, leg, shoulder if I didn't give him his food on time. He's try to jump on my threadmill each time I worked out on it. He'd get all his paws wet each time I washed and cleaned the porch by walking through the water and into the house. He'd yell and cry and create a ruckus each time I gave him a bath, and then sulk for a couple of hours after that. He'd make me worry sick about him if he wasn't home on time. He'd make me interfere in all his fights with the neighbouring cats and then carry him back home. He'd make me wake up in the middle of the night to open the door to let him out if he really had to 'go'.

Charlie was my saviour. He helped me get over Shindu's death, he kept me company while Ash was gone, he meowed gently in the night whenever I woke up because of nightmares, he sat with me quietly whenever I got sad, he waited outside the bathroom while I was inside. And he just brought so much of love to the house each time he walked in. He brought a smile on my face each time I saw him.

I brought Charlie home from SPCA because I wanted a chance to love him. He was a rescued cat. That means he was rescued from an abusive environment. I wanted to show him how special he was and how much I needed him. His sad sad eyes stole my heart, and I have loved him so very very much ever since the day I first saw him and took him home. The amazing thing with animals is that you realise they don't need you, but that you need them so much more. They love you unconditionally. They're God's only creations that can love unconditionally. People have too much evil in them and are too selfish to ever manage to do that.

I want Charlie back. I don't care if he's in a better place now, I just want him here. I don't care if God thinks he needs Charlie more, I just want him back.

So you see, my beautiful and precious boy, my darling Charlie, my little bundle of happiness , he was so much much more than 'just a cat'. He was everything to me. If you can't sympatise with me, then don't insult my precious boy by reducing him to nothing. He was never nothing. He was everything. And he means more to me than any of you do.

And death is death. No law says than a human's death is a greater loss than an animal's. Its probably the other way around. Its the love you felt for the one who had died that matters. The pain and agony is there because you loved them, and now they're gone. That's how it is when a person dies, and its the exact same pain, same agony and same grief when your beloved cat dies.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond that glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.




Rest In Peace, Charlie Love.

My Top 5 Sob Stories

Just like any other person, I love movies. Especially if I get to go to the cinema to watch it. Though I'm not a TV fan, I watch like a total of maybe 4 hours of TV a week or less, but I do go out of my way to catch a really good show.

But a couple of days ago, I was flipping through Astro and realised that a lot of the shows are beyond crap! Something called Blade Trinity..Lake Placid 3,4,5..The Revenge of some creepy deformed alien-cum-Frankenstein thingy... It was so bad that I wondered if paying 80 bucks monthly to Astro is worth watching a blond Wesley Snipes??

And then I started thinking about all the movies that made me cry (Yes, I'm weird). I cry really easily when I'm watching movies, even if the scene like something totally ordinary...Dunno why, but its so annoying. Most of the time I just don't watch these depressing kindda shows...like The Colour Purple? Never ever gonna be seeing that, like NEVER! Seriously, a bunch of slaves in poverty, trying to win freedom or whatever it is they were doing and to have top it off with OPRAH without make up? Horror!

But here are some movie that just made me sob and cry and shows that I'll probably never wanna watch again.

5) Armagaddon
Yes, we've established the fact that I'm weird, so you can imagine why I found this movie just a sob-a-minute. Seriously, it had all the crying elements... you have the hard working dad who raises his kid all alone, then dad is afraid to let her go and live her life, dad has issues with AJ, and finally dad gives his own life so that AJ can live! My God, by the end I was worse than a baby! Especially that little speech he gives to Gracie about not being able to keep his promise....totally heart wrenching.

4) Meet Joe Black
I LOVE this movie. Just love it! But again, I cry non-stop from beginning to end. There are like a thousand ultra-depressing moments in this one...like when Death realises he has to go without Susan and he's saying bye...and when Bill has the last dance with Susan...and the last and final moment Death and Bill walk away... how horrbly depressing! The only thing that makes the crying worth is Brad Pitt and his totally cute love affair with peanut butter!

3) Titanic
If you don't cry in this movie, you are so not a human! Seriously, how can you not cry???
'You jump, I jump'?? And dear dear Jack slowly slipping into the horrid dark and cold sea, leaving Rose all alone to go on without him, promising that she'll never give up?? Sighhhh....
And if all that don't make you cry, the freakin' song will so do it. I was so sure that Jack'll make it and that he won't be dead, or like he'll walk up to her right at the end where she's saved. But Noooo...the directors just had to make it all the more depressing! Freaks.

2) In Pursuit of Happyness
If there's an award for most tears shed in a movie, this has to be it. Oh my god! I have never seen the movie from beginning to end, I totally refuse to. I think I'll need to go into therapy if I do that. Watching 5 mins of bits and pieces here and there were enough to make me go through an entire tissue box! Wasn't it just completely heart breaking? And the worst thing is, its a freakin' true story! If you need a super crying episode, you know what to watch.

1) Passion of the Christ.
Too painful for words. It rips your soul in half.

Well those are the top movies that totally clears my sinuses :P And as much as I love good shows, I think real life is bad enough without adding onto the depression by watching movies like this. I mean, if you can gawk and drool over Edward Cullen, or salivate with Jack Sparrow or jump into action with Autobots, why why why why whyyyyy would you wanna go into a theatre and sob your heart out??? Something's so wrong with movie makers and movie goers.

Luckyly there are people like me around : )

Songs or Rhyming Syllables?

Last Sunday afternoon, I was taking a nice, long drive to Klang, and I had the radio on to pass my time. I figured its about time I caught up with some of the new songs being aired these days (since I didnt wanna be labelled as 'OLD'!) Well...it certainly was a learning experience : )



I couldnt believe the stupidity of most songs being played! At first I thought whoever did the selection of that day must be suffering from some massive constipation or something, so I swtiched stations a couple of times..but God! It was like all the stations decided to play totally crappy songs... or maybe thats just what songs have become. CRAPPY!



The lyrics are lousy, the melody is monotonous, the background is totally predictable, and after a few songs, they all start to sound alike!

• I Kissed A Girl (Kate Perry) - Sighhh... This has to be the worse song of the entire year. 'I kissed a girl and I liked it'? How much more gross can it get? Why would you even wanna do that, let alone sing about it! I'm guessing a lot of guys out there would be rating this as one of their favourites, and naturally this goes to show the low thinking capacity of the male brain : ) Once upon a time ago, The Beatles' 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' used to get parents all upset and angry.... wonder what they have to say now?

• Bed (J. Holiday) - This one's just waaayyy to creepy. 'I wanna put you to bed'??? That's freakin sick! Trust them singers to take something memorable out of your childhood and turn it into something completely nauseous! I doubt I can NOT think of this song the next time I hear a parent say they're putting their kids to bed... Yes, it is a sick song. Please get rid of it!

• Addicted (Saving Abel) - Whoever the people in charge on censoring songs are, I think they need to pay a lil more attention to some songs at times! I mean, so its ok to ban yoga coz some people understand the meaning of Om, but a song like this gets free airway coz obviously nobody understands the lyrics!

• In The Ayer (Flo Rida) - There is nothing more frustrating than trying to figure out what the heck is he saying?? 'In the anger'? 'In the hanger'? 'In the ayer'??? What on earth is an 'ayer'?? He sounds like Bart Simpson in a helium balloon! No doubt the tune is very catchy and addictive, but God, the song is so lame!

• What You Got (Colby Odonis) - 'Always talkin' bout what you got, Girl you know that you need to stop'... Huh?? Songs like these makes me wonder how hard could it be to become a songwriter?? Just rhyme the last syllables and Woopee, we got ourselves a song! What is she talking about that she's got? And if she's got whatever it is, why should she stop? And stop what?? Why so complicating la?!

Its so frustrating that these are the songs that are making it to the Top 3, Top 10, Top 40, Top Whatever... And some people actually take the time and effort to vote for them! Wow.. Something must be so wrong with their taste in music.

Where are the good songs of Maroon 5, or Nickelback, or even Beyonce? Songs that have lyrics which tells a story, and melody and rhythm that stays with you. The ones on the radio are not songs, they're just noise... with rhyming syllables. See even I could write one:

Oooooo, oooooo

I love you, you,

Boy, its true, true

I'm not blue, blue...

See thats my chorus now. All I need is to add one stanza before that about how lonely/sad/pathetic I was before I met you, then another one about how you brought sun and flowers and LOVE into my life... then sing chorus like 20 times.... and sing one more stanza about being together forever/nuthin gonna tear us apart... Sing chorus another 1o times.

Oh and of course, do a music video with as little clothes as possible, and I have already won myself a music Award!