I thought today I'm gonna make a list of things that seriously annoy me...and I'm very sure lots and lots (and I mean LOTS) of people out there share them with me....but like I said, maybe being good Asian youths, we pretty much pretend we're cool with it, and trust me, the way I can pretend sometimes, it's amazing how I haven't won some Academy Award yet!!
Things I really, really don't like:
1) Sharing my food.
OK, I so know how weird this might sounds, especially being a Malaysian and all, where we pretty much bend backwards to be caring and loving and all that jazz....but I really have an issue with sharing my food!! I mean, it's my food, right? I took it/bought it/ordered it for myself, right? So why must someone else eat of my plate? It's really irritating. If you like it so much, well good, keep it in mind and order it the next time....but don't eat mine! Similarly, it's equally annoying when people force you to sample their food....I mean, I'm sure it must be yummy and all that, but I really don't want to taste it. The worse is, when you politely decline tasting someone's food, but they just go on and on forcing you "try some"... you just wanna shove the whole freakin plate down their throats! If I really wanted it, I would have ordered it, you know.
The only one I share my plate with would be a little kid, a baby, my cat or a bf. If you're none of them, then don't share my food. So simple.
2) People touching me.
Don't touch me. It's my skin, my hands, my arms, my body. Go touch your own one. Its a BIG issue for me....random hugs, arms around my shoulder, touching my hair!! If you're not my bestie, Jasper, a hairstylist or my family, then don't touch me. If it's something that bothers you, then at least ask if 'Can I hug you?'...otherwise, a nice, good handshake is awesome enough....or better yet, wave and say hello and wave and say goodbye. On this note, if anyone ever wants to get me a spa gift, please don't ever make it a Body Massage. I'll probably give it away.
3) Screaming kids
I totally understand how parents might think that their child is the most brightest star around, but we got news for you. Other people don't. And that includes how other, normal, sane people also don't think you little devil SCREAMING on the top of his lungs is cute either. If you like his screaming so much, record it and play it on your Ipod or something. We don't wanna hear it!
You know sometimes you're like at a mall, or the bookstore, or worse, at a maternity hospital, and some of these kids just run along the corridors and yelling for God knows what? It just touches this particular nerve in your brain and you just grind your teeth and bite your tongue. And you're there, staring at them, and their parents act so oblivious to how every other person there is ready to whip the child themselves! How hard could it be to shut them up in public? When I was a kid, I made all the ruckus I wanted at home, but when I was out, I was like this perfect angel....you know why? Cause my mom had no issue with the occasional slap : ) It works! A slap once in a while SO solves all tantrums!! But now, its more like the kids rule the parents!
4) Telling me I put on weight
I know if I have put on weight. Its my weight, ain't it? You really don't need to do me this huge favour of specifically pointing it out. I really don't care if you're my friend, colleague or student. If I have put on weight, the usual, normal etiquette specifically tells you to NEVER SAY IT. It's kinda like how you never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you specifically see the baby popping out of her with your own eyes! Its such a Malaysian thing to gloat and enjoy the fact that someone's put on weight. Would you like it if I pointed out things about you that annoy you? Telling me that I've gained weight really isn't gonna make me like you anymore than I don't, and neither is it miraculously gonna dissolve that weight. So shut it. I know that I have, so you're really NOT helping by pointing it out. Besides, how is it any of your business?
5) Asking me when's the big day?
First of all, why do people even call it 'the big day'? What's so BIG about it? It costs tons of money, endless stress and tension, crazy ass running around and juggling, and more often than not, more arguments about what you should and shouldn't do. Its so much easier to just get registered. Well, that is one issue by itself.
I'm the one getting married, right? So if you see me still single, it obviously means I'm not married. When I do get married, you'll know. So what's there to ask? If I'm not getting married, again, obviously, there must be a reason for it, right? And if I'm not telling you the reason, it means you're not important enough to me that I should share my reasons with you. So why embarrass yourself? This is kinda like the weight thing, you know, there are some things you really should not ask someone. Whats even more annoying is when people you don't meet in, like, forever, suddenly chat you up on FB and without even a "Hello", they go straight to, "Eh, you almost 30 la. When you getting married?" Dude, first of all, you SO need to crawl out of whatever rock you been under for the last 2 decades, cause FYI, girls are getting married later in life. Secondly, how does it affect you? I'll marry when I think I want to. Stop asking.
6) Clubbing
Anyone who knows me, knows this. I hate clubbing.
It's loud, it's noisy, it's crowded, the toilets are always filthy and smelly, there are never enough chairs so you end up standing, while wearing heels, for 4 hours, people are constantly brushing pass you or stepping on your toes, it's smoky, it's annoying, the waiter takes a lifetime to get your drinks, the overall bill gives you a mild stroke, people get drunk and talk crap, people get drunk and behave like a bunch of idiots, the music gives you a headache and leaves you half deaf, most of the guys are looking to get hooked up, most of the girls are looking to get hooked up, everyone's flashing idiotic cameras in your face with the flash gives you temporary blindness, people look at you like you're an imbecile if you don't finish your drink in 5 seconds, your view is pretty much of the same crowd through out the night, conversation is ridiculous and you end up screaming in someone's ear just to be heard, your hair smells like Marlboro the next day, everyone is forcing you to dance when you really rather not, you end up going home at 6 in the morning and you wake up the next day with smelly hair, swollen eyes, a deaf ear, a dry throat, a lethargic body and an empty wallet.
So tell me again when the fun part begins?
7) People wanting pets to see what it can do for you
This one is definitely one of the things that annoys the life out of me. OK, so first of all, I'm a cat person. Now this don't mean I don't like dogs, cause I love dogs too, but if I had a choice to pick either one for a pet, I'm gonna go for a cat. So what really bugs me is when people go like, "Oh, you know, a cat can't do anything for you, he can't even protect you, like a dog can". This is unbelievable! So what you're saying is that we should keep a pet ONLY if it can do something for us? Otherwise, its a waste of time? I really don't think there's anything worse than that! That's like saying you only love your parents because they give you money, and they gave you food and shelter. Otherwise, I'm not gonna love them? How does this even make sense?
First up, to me personally, animals are of a lot more value than humans. Humans are such selfish and immature beings. A cat (or dog) would NEVER think that he's only gonna want to be with you to see what you can do for him, otherwise, you can go to hell. But we, supposedly the intelligent being, do think that.
So if people out there really think I'm wasting my time with a cat, because you think he does nothing for me, then here's the things that he DOES DO: he runs to the door everyday and meows in greeting when I get home, he follows me around the house so that I know he's here, he jumps on my bed every morning to wake me up when I snooze after my alarm goes off, he brings me his little paper ball so I can play catch with him, he sits on my laps and purrs away every night, he brings joy when I see him acting mischievous, he makes me laugh when he gets tangled up in strings, he makes me adore him when he insists on drinking only from the water fountain, he makes me smile when he rubs his fur on my legs and he makes me so happy every moment of the day.
Now, are you gonna say that all these points are absolutely unimportant and pointless simply because a cat can't protect my house? Seriously?
It is so ridiculous to even consider keeping a pet for any other reason than the fact that the only reason you should a pet, any pet, it because you love him and he loves you. Whether its a dog, a cat, a monkey, a chicken, a cow, a parrot, a rabbit or a hamster. So really, don't talk about how silly keeping a cat is if you don't understand the bigger picture.
So, you see, there a LOT of things in the world that seriously annoy people, especially someone like me. If you think about it, its really easy to not annoy people. Get a book on etiquette and READ. Don't shoot your mouth off without thinking what you're saying, don't behave like an idiot, don't do things that you don't like others doing to you. Seriously, just using the fact that its an 'Asian thing' isn't a good enough reason to make a fool out of yourself, right? If it's absolutely critical that you must be an idiot and not give people their space then, wait for them to like you, or at least, to tolerate you.
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