Whats with Zee?

What on earth is wrong with the serials on tv?? Some of them are sooooo ridiculous, that at times, I am so dumb struck that I need a minute to digest the stupidity of the directors, the producers, the actors...and of coz...the audience!!

I hate serials, I really do. The only one that I loved so much was Ugly Betty (the SPANISH version, not the copycat English one) and I completely fell in love with Juana in Juana's Miracle (notice they are both in Spanish). Now these two were waaayyy back in 2001/2002..so considering my age back then and the fact that I had nothing else to do other than attending classes, so naturally, I used to be in front of Ntv7 for these shows.

Now here's what was really good about these shows:
1. You get to learn some Spanish...seriously! Ke Pasa?...Porke?...Mia Culpa... awwww...

2. The storyline was pretty damn good...I mean, look at Juana! She was an average 17 year old, not drop-dead-traffic-stopping-not-a-hair-out-of-place kind of gorgeous, who did not wear make up to bed..and who had an actual, genuine problem.

3. Missing out on more than 3 episodes in a row did leave you behind on the show and it was frustrating!

4. The theme songs were very catchy and almost everyone in uni had downloaded Betty's theme song.

5. Everyone in the show did normal things that are within the capacity of a normal, regular human..no one became a brain surgeon and at the same time was also an undercover mafia leader wanted in 15 countries.

So not that I'm being bias or running down other serials (which I will in a minute), but serials that make sense are worth taking out an hour a day for. And then, humanity took a wrong turn..this was when Astro decided to come into the picture, and very unfortunately, bring with it the curse of all curses...ZEE TV!!!

If there is one thing in this world that absolutely guarantees losing your brain cells at an excellerating rate and adding more pounds on your butt...then take some time to watch the Hindi serials. They are beyond ridiculous! They are downright insulting to our mental capacity. See if these sound familiar:
1. All the worse things in the world that probably happens to 50 people if combined, ends up happening to one single person on the show.

2. Despite all the evil going around the hero/heroin, usually the heroin, she still manages to have utter and complete faith in goodness and is as generous and loving and forgiving as an angel.

3. The evil stepmother/stepsister/in-laws/husband/etc etc are people who are omnipresent. They amazingly find their way to every part of the house, hear every phone conversation, know all the evil gangsters/can change medical reports/spend 20 minutes on completely dumb monologues and constantly have this identical look of arched eyebrows and a malicious and sinister smile.

4. Just when you think that finally the show might decide to come to an end, you realise how wrong you are. Coz just when things start to look good, some long-lost son returns or some past ally comes into the picture with one aim....TO DESTROY THE FAMILY OF SO AND SO!! How dramatic.

5. All the directors on the serials probably graduated from the same directing school since all of them have the same method. Just when some dude or chick says the first part of the first sentence, the cameraman decides to zoom in on the mother, the father, the aunts and uncles, the grandma and grandpa, the butler and the maid...and as the second half the sentence is said, the whole process repeats itself...accompanied by some really annoying background score. 20 mins of each serial are spent on the zooming.

6. The heroins walk around in extravagant sarees, complete with elbow-length bangles and a full set of elaboarated necklaces and earrings...and they go to sleep like that, cook like that, fight evil like that. Sometimes they wake up with full make up on too. Amazing.

7. And if you happen to miss 3 months of the show....no problem! Just watch 2 episodes and its like you never missed even one!

Sigghhhhh... Isnt it simply depressing to think what the future of ZEE TV is gonna be? And what is even more amazing is the way some people are glued to their screens! Thank God people in my family realised the error of their ways and have now stopped flicking to 108 to even see whats on...there cant be anything on that is worth losing some brain cells over.

So my advice to bollywood serial creaters, scriptwriters, directors....do spend some time watching the Spanish professionals at work and try to LEARN something...
To the ZEE TV audience...go read a book!